Thursday, September 25, 2014

The Songbirds Of Sadness.

Coat: Juicy Couture
Dress: Juicy Couture
Tights: AC
Thigh-high socks: Calzedonia
Beanie hat: Juicy Couture
Shoes: Salamander
Watch: Juicy Couture

Lipstick: Clinique Heather Moon
Nails: Sally Hansen Grey Area

The beginning of autumn, or fall, is the most beautiful season of all, both in its nature and its spirit. Those colorful leaves, yellow and orange colored flowers, soft sunlight and crispy air, poetic smoky sky. We still have memories of the warm summer not far back, but already may look forward to the wonderful holiday season. It is still not that cold and not that gloomy as the late autumn is.

As much as I do my best to enjoy this beautiful season, it has always been marked by sadness in my life.

My son was born on September 19 in 2008 and though it was the happiest day in my life, it soon turned into a nightmare, when my baby got into coma the next day, and we didn't even know if he would survive. I remember looking out of the hospital window into the beautiful autumn day thinking how could it become so tragic for me. Thankfully, my Eduard started getting better, though he does have cerebral palsy now.

Then in 2010 another tragedy came around. My father died on August 10. It was so sudden and heartbreaking, and the whole months ahead were marked by grief.

Last year, just around the end of summer - beginning of autumn, I had my first panic attack. It hit me out of the blue, scared me to death, and made me feel miserable and weak. And the worst part was that they kept repeating, building up into a pattern, appearing in crowded places, underground crossings, subway, driving a car. I had to go to therapy a be put on drugs to get rid of those panic attacks.

They did though come back this past August again, making me even more frustrated and upset than before: I had been sure I had beaten them! So here I am, back on drugs!

And then the BIG tragedy came. My sister. Probably, the biggest tragedy I've had to deal with in my whole life. And again, in the beautiful month of September...

I don't want my life, or my blog, to be about tragedies.  I want it to be about fun outfits, and beauty, and style, an joy, and simple happiness.

So, right now I am going to focus on my outfit. Because this dress has a story as well. I first found this bird-printed dress in a Juicy Couture outlet in Philadelphia when I was in the US in February. I tried it on, loved it, but then saw the price tag: $ 200, and put it back on the rack. Then this summer I found the same dress on ebay for a fraction of price and immediately bought it. That is such a luck to buy something online that I've already tried on and loved in person! But then it was the dress I wore to my sister's funeral... So it will forever be the Sad Dress for me.

Though, I didn't want this outfit to look like I am actually going to a funeral, so I added a few funny details: a beanie hat and thigh-high socks.

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