Thursday, March 17, 2016

What Are You And What Do You Want To Be?/ Быть собой или не быть чужой?

Sweater/ свитер: Zara
Skirt/ юбка: Zara
Tights/ колготки: Calzedonia
Shoes/ туфли: оld
Beret/ берет: unbranded
Scarf/ шарф: Next
Bracelet / браслет: Next
Watch/ часы: Juicy Couture

Lipstick/ помада: Dior 999
Nails/ лак: Severina

The weather is still disgusting. It is so cold, I don't even want to make any effort to shoot any outfits outside. My apartment us hardly a "photo studio" either. The lighting, the interior - everything is wrong.

Eventually, though, life comes to that same point: what we WANT to be and what we actually ARE...

I had these pictures taken right after I suffered a major panic attack: this stupid thing sort of "welcomed" me into spring. I noticed they almost don't bother me in winter, but in spring they "wake up" and start their job of turning my life into hell. They force me to fight against them for the person I want to be.

I want to be careless an fearless. I want to be patient and strong. I want to be able to go anywhere without the evil company of anxiety. I want to not be discouraged by failure. I want to beat it for good and share my success story with the whole world.

Fearless. Patient. Strong.

These seem like the best virtues for a person's character. The things I personally lack and the ones I need desperately.

I was born shy, unsociable, vulnerable and quiet. I was born a desperate romantic and painfully sensitive. I was born looking so calm outside and feeling so overwhelmed inside. If you meet me in real life, you'd probably think I am the calmest person in the world.

Perhaps, I just make a perfectly suitable "body" for anxiety?

In the end, do WE fight against who we are or do we make the rest of the world fit US?

Как же не хочется начинать свой каждый пост с жалоб на погоду, но у меня нет выбора: этот март меньше всего напоминает долгожданный сезон оживления, пробуждения и свежести. На улице так темно, ветрено и холодно, что я не хочу уже даже пытаться там фотографироваться. В квартире у меня обстановка тоже далека от фотостудии: не то освещение, не тот фон, да, и будем честны, бардак и теснота.

Но я не жалуюсь. Напротив, сегодняшние фото в домашней обстановке здорово передают мое внутреннее настроение, а это и есть, в общем-то, мой стиль одежды и стиль моего блога. Меня не волнуют правильные пропорции и сочетания, "времена года" согласно типу внешности и что можно носить в моем возрасте. 

Короче говоря, что в жизни, что в одежде, все сводится к вопросу: кто я ЕСТЬ и кем я ХОЧУ БЫТЬ?

Я хочу жить в теплом климате, иметь профессионального фотографа для блога и гардероб в три этажа, чтобы каждый день выкладывать в блоге те оригинальные и безумные образы, которые без остановки рисует мое воображение.

А еще я хочу быть сильной, уверенной в себе и терпеливой. И не быть тихой, стеснительной и нерешительной. И никогда в жизни ничего не бояться. 

Вместо этого, я сегодня публикую фотографии, сделанные после того, как весна отметила свой приход в 2016 год достаточно сильной панической атакой (эти заразы, блин, как медведи: зимой они спят, не беспокоят меня, а весной начинают возвращаться, превращая меня в вечно трясущееся тревожное существо).

Так что жалеть о том, чего нет, или смириться с тем, что есть? Оставаться собой и пытаться изменить мир или меняться самому, чтобы лучше соответствовать окружающему миру?


  1. У пальто фантастический цвет! Обожаю синий)
    follow gvozdishe on Instagram

  2. Love the striking outfit, Olga. This is such a gorgeous look!

  3. To be honest, I have no answer to your question. Do we need to fight to be who we are? I guess sometimes we have. We have to fight the world as well as ourselves. The most important thing is to not loose perspective or our goals, I think.

    Linda, Libra, Loca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

  4. You look great!Love the striped top! =)

    - Cielo
    Mermaid in Heels

  5. That's such a pretty outfit

  6. As much as I love Spring, I'm a bit afraid of it. Spring is when my migranes are the worst and as someone who has an immune disease ( Chron), I'm always nervious because I worry will my condition get worse. Many people feel tired in Spring, as much as it is natural for seasons to change, this change seems to put a pressure on our immune system and our bodies. Perhaps we just need to take it easy and find what works for us in this transitional period.

    When I feel stressed or overwhelmed, I like to occupy myself with some new project. For me it is important to spend some time on my own. Sometimes I go to the library and research something, I try to challange myself in some way...I study almost every day despite the fact that my days as a student are long over.

    When I feel tired, I go hiking. It helps clear my head and so far it is the only thing I discovered that helps ease my migranes. I'm not saying this is a cure for everyone, but everyone can probably find some way to relax, some way to make themselves feel better. I've always been a sensitive person and I was never able to make myself stop worrying by a force of will. I discovered it is much easier not to try to bypass by own character, but work with it. So, when I need to worry less, I just distract myself with something else. Sometimes it really helps.

    Now, about the outfit. I really love it. Very Parisian chic and feminine! Stripes are always stylish.

  7. Great look, I love stripes and your cobalt coat is very cool!
    Happy WE bellissima!
    Kisses, Paola.


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  8. Stunning outfit!! Love the pops of colour! You are beautiful! Thank you for the kind comment on my blog and the continued support! Always trying to return the support!

  9. Не смотря на свою профессиональную специализацию, заверяю, что все же полный гардероб стильных вещей не является залогом абсолютного счастья. Куда важнее гармония внутри, а все остальное наживное.
    Хорошего вам настроения!

  10. Your outfit is so parisian style, very chic and feminine. Love it

    Fashion and Cookies - fashion & beauty blog

  11. How lovely is your outfit, Olga. The combination red with black and white never fails to attract, and I adore how you incorporated blue as a fourth colour. Very nice, very chic.

    And speaking of chic, I'd really love for you to come and join my link-up, that outfit is too pretty to not share xoxo

  12. Классная тельняшка)

  13. Dear Olga, so sorry you had again this panic attach. Your words here touch me so much and I think you are absolutely right in the way you are. Please don't let allow all your sensitive characteristic to disappear ... only because there are people who different to you. In my opinion people like you are enrichment for this world as they are still able to feel and live and admit that life is not always only happy. Love your look and all the best to you <3
    xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena

  14. Super cute Parisan inspired style!!

    All the Cute

  15. Яркий образ! Самое оно на весну!
    Fashion Design by Julia Fetisova

  16. Such a beautiful post dear! I like this a lot.

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  17. This outfit is just darling! Love your pretty blue beret!