Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Happy Birthday!

My husband is finally back from his long business trip, and I have myself a fotographer!
As to the outfit, I know these pants don't really flatter my hips, especially after a month of skipping workouts and eating like a pig. But I needed a fun, bright and optimistic outfit! If was my birthday after all! And it was dulled by certain family drama. And those are the times I run to my closet for an antidepressant ... I almost forgot to dress up that day which I don't usually do, but that is due to hard depressive feelings I've been feeling recently, as my entire inner world seems to be messed up right now. My nutrition has been a mess, my diet has mostly consisted of bread and ice cream. My finances have become out of control, with no planning of any kind and spending too much on clothes online. My panic attacks are back after a 6 month break, and this time they've overwhelmed me completely: I became scared even to leave the house, to enter shops and drive the car. How did things  turn so ugly? How did the 2 things that I enjoy the most in life - shopping and driving - became a torture for me? Why do I wake up in the morning feeling already tired an dreading the day ahead of me? I was waiting for some miracle to happen, for something to come and resolve all these problems. But they are all inside me, so I guess I am the one to have to be dealing with them. And looking to those birthday pictures of myself above, I see in that face of mine that there is still that naive, romantic, open-hearted but incredibly strong girl somewhere inside of me.

Blazer: J Crew
Top: Loft
Pants: J Crew
Shoes: Tamaris
Bag: Michael Kors

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